Was a MONTH ago... seriously? Where did January go?? Does anyone know??
Zach and I went - just the two of us - to his Two Month Check Up. I had NO idea how much this check up would effect me!! I knew it was time for Zach to start getting his shots, but didn't know how much it would <hurt> Mommy!! Dr. Chopra's nurse first came in, and weighed and measured Zachy. He weighed 15 lbs, 11 ounces, and was 23-3/4 inches long. Getting so big!! Then she went over what shots he would be given, and told me the Dr would come in and see him, and then she'd be back afterwards to give the shots.
Dr. Chopra came in, and checked Zach out... of course (first mom) had a few questions to ask him. Everything he assured me was perfectly normal, and that we were doing a great job. **Phhhhew** Sooo, Dhhhh Dhhh Dhh.... the nurse comes back. Until this moment, I didn't realize how much this was going to upset me. The nurse is so sweet, and kind, but I did not like the fist-full of needles that she had brought into the room. She told me I needed to put Zach down on the scale, and that I could go sit down if I wanted to, or I could stand there to soothe him. I told her that I wanted to be with him, and asked her if I needed to do anything... she said, nope, just talk to him, and hold his hands if I wanted to. Then she said, "It's Ok Mommy, we're going to get through this." Right at that moment I knew, this was going to be tough...
So, they began... 5 shots in total. The first one she must have nicked something, because he had a little stream of blood that went down his right leg. Talk about a shot right to Mommy's heart. Watching my baby turn red, and open his mouth as wide as I've ever seen him to let out his wails of pain... was about as much as I could take. The nurse probably had all his shots down, and Spider Man band aids stuck to his legs in all of 5 seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. I would have rather gone through the entire labor process again than to watch my baby hurt. I'm serious. Not over emotional mommy - it hurt my heart that bad!! I picked him up, and he almost instantly stopped crying in my arms, just a few whimpers here and there. I was crying long after he had stopped.
I feel like God allows us to live our lives, so that we learn more and more as we grow. I believe being married you begin to realize that your life isn't 'all about you'. You have someone else to consider in everything you do. Almost every decision you make... you always keep the other person in mind while making up your mind. When you have children, you learn the ultimate meaning of selflessness. My little boy has only been with us 3 months now, but I would absolutely do anything in this world for him. I would happily lay down my own life so that I know he would not feel any pain. To know that God allowed His Son to die on the cross for us, to know that God knew what Jesus would go through in order to save ME from MY sins? Now that's a love that I will never be able to understand. As much as I love my husband, my son, my family, and friends... it will never be close to the love that my Father in Heaven has for me. That's so comforting to me. I never really understood God as my 'father'... until I had a son myself. Just understanding the love I have for Zachary, gives me a small look into the love he has for me, for Gabe, for Zach, for you... :)
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